I got 40 dollars burning a hole in my pocket.

The landscape of retail investing has changed completely in the span of my life. I currently have 40 dollars.

Now when the new millennium came in I became a man. It was an interesting time. You were supposed to get a job and make a paycheck. So I did. I got a A+ certification and started repairing computers. I bought a car. I had a checking account. I had a nice girlfriend. Life was nice. Stable. Predictable. Then some saudi arabians decided to fly airplanes into buildings on behalf of Al qaeda in Libya.... so we responded by invading the taliban in afghanistan and we had to stop by iraq on our way back home or something. And that is the official story of 9/11 and nobody has ever questioned it.

But it gave me an interesting introduction to manhood. I lost my job. My car. My girl.

Money it would seem, actually does buy happiness. And stability... mostly stability.

Anyway back to my 40 dollars. In the early days, in the time before, the very far ago... "The ancients" as we call them (1980's-2008 or so), Those guys had to use pen and paper in order to invest. It was all very resource intensive. It was also very expensive to do because they had to pay off sexual assualt cases after banging their secretaries.

If I had taken my 40 dollars to a stock broker in the very far ago they would have responded like this...

Actual Stock Broker Laugh

Robinhood to the Rescue Too good to be true never looked so good Robinhood is NOT FDIC insured. Robinhood assumes it's users will lose so they intentionally bet against them. Robinhood itself could just be one big house of financial cards. Robinhood was designed by physicists and not financial people. So what the hell could possibly go wrong?

Ok, so we got 40 bucks let's find something to buy. AMAT Applied Materials is a company that makes shit. Super advanced shit. Electronics and shit like that. I like companies that make things. It normally helps their bottom line. So let's check it out.

professional stock lines Look I put black lines on it. That means it will go up. So let's buy it and get fucking rich. I can't wait to name my yacht.

Well shit, it's 65.07 and I only got 40

Which brings me to my first finance lesson. You and I are fucking broke. Thats why they call it "Retail Investing". Retail investing is code words for "broke everyday people who dream of becoming rich and buy small amounts of stock".

Thats you and I. Retail investors. Yearning to be wealthy one day

So I only have 40 bucks. Time for a new stock

GE

So what I did was....

I put in an order for 6 shares of GE stock. Tomorrow when I wake up at the crack of noon I will be a part owner in a multinational conglomerate.

Can you feel the riches coming? Boy I sure can.

We need a stock ticker now.

GE Chart by TradingView

Remember to read the Disclaimer.

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